| fuck yes fuck yes fuck fuck fuck YES. |
[Monday
April 28th, 2008
11:37pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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music |
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independent woman- destiny's child |
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I feel like an runaway from Cuba who finally reached America and is on their way to Hollywood where they're gonna be a HUGE STAR.
that's how good and free and relieved i feel.
I FINALLY OFFICIALLY ABSOLUTELY ENDED IT COMPLETELY WITH JAKE ON MY TERMS WITH (kelly's help and) MY OWN WORDS!
how stupendous to be free of shackles that you don't know how to unlock.
how wonderful to get out of a maze with no cheese at the end.
how cataclysmic and fucking FANTASMIC to x-ray somone and find a huge cancerous tumor that makes you completely get over them! (that last one was a bit sketchy.)
i also love these horrible analogies.
i feel at peace. do you feel at peace? I SURE AS FUCK DO.
also... R.I.P. QWERTY I, here i come QWERTY II.
are you excited like i'm excited?
i'm happy at least someone in the world feels the way i do. thanks richard.
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[Tuesday
April 15th, 2008
9:45pm] |
snl was pretty ok. cougar den was funny, reminded me of kelly and i. but not really.
"i absolutely love bagging the younger men."
"that's why we're cougars."
"yes, i took my boyfriend to the ruins for his 22nd birthday, then later i gave him a blow-joy on my wicker-fan chair."
"blow-joy?"
"well it's certainly not a job."
you kinda had to be there i guess.
i didn't go to school today, i read at lux, i cleaned my car a bit, painted quite a lot, went to the apple store, got new shoes, decided on buying a playstation 3 instead of a 360 and created a budget plan so i'll be able to buy one before school starts.
i also saw brian today. which was awkward. twice. once at lux once at z. sooooo weird.
whatever. tomorrow should be awwweeessooommmeee and good.
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[Monday
April 14th, 2008
7:06pm] |
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mood |
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 ok |
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this election is the most fun.
after hillary said obama was out of line for putting down hunters/gun lovers:
"she's talking like she's annie oakley! is she packing a six-shooter? i'd like to see some pictures of hillary on the duckblind."
-obama.
and hillary also bought a round for a bunch of men at a bar, and had a shot of whiskey herself and followed it with a pint.
hey yah!
but i think i'm an obama girl now. sorry hillary.
but today was boring a little but scott michael and i were kick ass billionaires in poker, i think i aced my exam, and it was kind of lazing around. fifth element is the best thing to wake up to though.
tomorrow i'm not going to school, but i have to act like i am so i'll leave the house around 7, go to lux, and think of a productive list of things to do.
1. clean my car.
2. find my phone at DP house (vince, no one's found it have they?
(to be completed)
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[Thursday
April 10th, 2008
10:57pm] |
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mood |
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 mmmm |
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this probably isn't cool to say but jason castro can go ahead and leave american idol and come live in my bed with me.
so pretty.
"You're so crazy! I think i wanna have yo baby."
-salt and pepa
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| crossroads. |
[Monday
March 31st, 2008
11:26am] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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so in case you haven't heard, something pretty incredible happened to me the other day. I was sitting in lux reading with my chai and jeff the owner walked up to me and told me he wanted to "steal me away from Z" and asked if i could come in and talk to him on monday about working there. WHOA. anybody who's remotely my friend knows how much i love that place. so it was pretty exciting. and i also really have wanted to quit Z for a while.
i went and met with him today and it went ok, but i don't have it in the bag like i thought. because HE asked ME i thought it was a sure thing, but now i'm not so sure. I feel pretty confident, but not completely. when he heard i wasn't going to be 18 for another full year i could tell he was taken aback. he told me he thought i was at least 19 if not 20, 21. which is funny because i get that all the time to the point that even i forget, oh my god i'm still 16. but other than the age thing everything went really well and we were on the same page. and i want to work there more than ever.
best part, i thought i was going to have to go down in wages from the 8.75 i make at Z, but he was like, "i expect the people who work for me to work hard because they make pretty good money." i'm thinking to myself: what's pretty good. "the people who work here get $8 as their base wage and then they on average make about another $8 and hour in tips, often more, sometimes a little less. so on a normal not crazy day you'd be making $16 an hour."
wh-wh-wh-wh-what!? uh, HELLO. how amazing.
everything he said was positive ("you're really outgoing and that's exactly what i'm looking for." "i can tell you love this place and that's so important to me in an employee." "i really admire your loyalty to Z for being so young." "you seem to have the full package.") but at the end he said "well let's see how this next month goes, i'll think about it and definitely get back to you. if anything we'd probably start when it's summer but i'll think on it and let you know."
uh.... wait, what?
i said okay that's fine but now i'm so confused! HE approached ME out of no where... and now he's saying something that ambiguous? i think the age thing really freaked him out. what else is new. if i had a dime for everyperson freaked out by my age i would be a very wealthy 16 year old. but getting jobs this great and being under 18 is rough. we'll see what happens i guess. but now i got my hopes up so high that i'm nervous i'm setting myself up for dissapointment.
just how great would that job be! i get to wear whatever i want, i don't have to wear a visor, i just get to listen to good music and serve coffee and meet people and be in a place i love. and i won't have to work with Jake OR brian anymore! i'm so done with Z.
we'll see what happens i guess. but exciting, right?
wish me luck! :D
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[Wednesday
March 26th, 2008
11:25pm] |
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mood |
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 energetic |
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in case you haven't heard... I GOT MY CAR BACK.
yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesydsyesyeseffyfysesy.
i feel amazing and free. kelly went with me to discount tire where we rock paper scissored, and patty caked, and then we went to lux.
have i mentioned i love lux?
i'm so happy i can go there as much as i want again. which probably won't be everyday like before, but still A LOT. i missed it.
to ally: i saw tylor at lux today again, HE LOOKS SO GOOD WITHOUT HIS BEARD. he has the perfect amount of shadow, he looks really good, and he was hanging out with this guy that i thought was our prince with rosy cheeks (i hope you know what i'm talking aobut) and i nearly passed out. but it wasn't. and i didn't ACTUALLY almost pass out. i was surprised he recognized me first but we talked for a blink and he told me he was hangin with you tonight so good luck!
i don't have a phone back, but it's because i'm getting a new one! it might be a couple weeks but my mom knows exactly what i want so she better get it for me. QWERTY!!!!!
tomorrow's thursday already, crazy. the weeks flyyyyyy by. but no school monday SWEET.
got a rooster booster after work, that was nice.
what else what else what else....
accidently called jake. awkward.
my birthdays really soon. weird.
ms. wolf WAS A TOTAL BITCH TO ME TODAY. SCARY!
that's all.
car car car car car.
car car.
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[Tuesday
March 25th, 2008
1:22pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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so i woke up at 4:45 in terrrrrrrrrrible pain and got motrin and a heating pad so i could get a little sleep before i had to go to school, and i woke up at 11 so i guess my mom just left me here this morning. i called and asked her if i was in trouble or something and all she said was no. weeeeird.
but this is good, i got to sleep, relax and sit outside a lot in my robe. it's soooooooo nice outside these days so i decided i'm going to sit outside for a few hours and finish reading road to war so i can write my paper and be finished hopefully before 6 and have a relaxing evening not stressing and putting my lowes essay off so long that at two in the morning i decide to just drop it.
whooo
is anything due in english tomorrow??
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| WOWOWOWOW |
[Sunday
March 23rd, 2008
10:04pm] |
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mood |
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 wahhh |
] |
i bought my prom dress this weekend, and all the shit to go with it (aka accessories). very 50's inspired so now i know how i'll wear my hair. i wish i could just have atmosphere do it but since last years prom didn't go so hot with them i think i'll try and find someone else for this special occasion. i can just imagine the face my hair cut lady afton would make if i asked her to give me a really new prom hairdo. she'd probable run away screaming, i would if i were her. no way, that wound of embarrassment is still too fresh. but i'm getting excited i guess. this whole grounded thing waters down my emotions about anything really, esspecially when i'm at home.
water test saturday, easy peasy and got me so excited for lemon squeezy this summer! it's really going to be great. as good as last summer, if not better (might not be possible but we can try!)
i think my mom's getting me a new phone with QWERTY keypad for my birthday. not sure. i'd be happy to get my christmas present for my birthday since that hasn't come around yet.
my mom got me WOW for easter. ahahaha, how funny. we'll see what happens with that. probably not a whole lot, i'm still on a guitar hero high that WOW can't tear me from.
i really want to quit work, i can't work with jake anymore. i left an hour early today becuase he brought his girlfriend in and i thought i was gonna have a panic attack and i already felt sick so i went home. i want to quit so bad and i would RIGHT NOW but i need money. and z-pizza is so flexible with me since i've been there so long. and i got scheduled to work with brian on tuesday and so i had to switch shit around to get out of that, and he'll probably see i switched it around and wonder if it was because i didn't want to work with him. uggghhhh so akward, i'm starting to think that it's going to be harder to pick that up than i thought.
these past few weeks i've been dealing with major self esteem problems. whats the deal with that?! everywhere i look someones prettier than me, or cooler than me, or trendier than me, or better than me in general. how am i supposed to think i can hold any one persons interest when i'm surrounded. i know confidence is your most attractive asset, but i don't want to delude myself. and how am i supposed to have confidence when i'm surrounded by all of these fucking people.
I JUST WANT MY CAR BACK
edit: just looked at brian's myspace for the first time in a couple weeks. no longer "single"..."in a relationship".
boy do i feel stupid. god
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[Monday
March 10th, 2008
12:27am] |
tonight i'm going to stay up really really fucking late with gosford park, casablanca, from here to eternity, and my fun new fabric paints. and then i'm going to sleep a lot tomorrow.
i hope that when this loong loooooong week of downtime is over i can appreciate it. and get my car and my phone and my life back.
this is gonna be one hell of a spring break!! ahaha jk
woooo
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[Sunday
March 9th, 2008
1:35am] |
has anyone else noticed that saturday night live is totally alive and kickin again!? (except for kenan)
totally laughing, for the first time in a while, at saturday night live. good good good.
the hillary clinton fake edorsement had me laughing out loud.
they had a skit making fun of project runway that had me chuckling heartily.
even weekend update had me belly shaking:
"a new report on german soldiers shows that they are fat, smoke too much, and don't exercise enough, which is just as well when you consider what happens when german soldiers are in good shape."
 for 
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[Monday
March 3rd, 2008
1:21am] |
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why do we all try so fucking hard
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[Thursday
February 14th, 2008
2:28pm] |
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[Saturday
February 9th, 2008
12:00am] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
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i was reminded why i don't actually talk about what's REALLY going on in my life on livejournal.
now i will stop again.
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| WOOHOO! |
[Tuesday
February 5th, 2008
11:40pm] |
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mood |
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 jubilant |
] |
woohoo!
still not sure if it was a date or a friend thing. but felt pretty date-y that's for sure. i was so nervous i went and saw kelly at spinatos and went and got gelato with hannah to talk me down. THANKS!! i'm driving up and i have a panic attack, send kelly immediate emergency message: "BEANIE OR NO BEANIE!?" decide no beanie. went to meet up at lux, we got tea/coffee, went outside in the freezing cold, but he wanted to sit outside because there was no one out there. the cold was nice for once. talked for two and a half hours straight! no holes in conversation, no awkwardness. just straight on through till i was chattering and my feet felt like they needed to be amputated. lux closed and they were locking the dorrs and we looked at the clock and were surprised at the time and decided we should better go. stood outside my car talking for a good 20 more minutes. then HE hugs me. for like, fifteen seconds. long hug. and a squeeze-hug not a sit-there-with-your-arms-up hug. he said he'd call me. we parted ways. i squeel in my car a bit for sure. do my happy dance.
woohoo me! and then i got the guts to end completely what was lingering with jake. woohoo me!
i hope this is hope.
what do you think he's thinking??? friends or potential???
edit: i just realized by counting that it wasn't a fifteen second hug, and i told kelly it was a twenty second hug. ahahah, i guess i was too hopped up on excitement to think straight. i'd say it was a five-seven second hug. big difference, but count it to yourself! it's still substantial!
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| it's not raining men. MAN DROUGHT! |
[Tuesday
February 5th, 2008
1:51am] |
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mood |
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 sorry ayn, not so rational |
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i feel like i want to get into this again, spilling your guts for no real reason in particular not sure why you are but do it anyways if only to be heard and possibly pitied. i'm not going to go into crazy personal but i'm dying with frustration with the male sex.
how original am i? SUPER original. i know.
i'm trying to get the balls to end a certain bad relationship that's just trickling but i feel like i need closure!! i will get closure. i have devised a plan with my first mate. it better work.
i have a hopeful prospect though in either a new crush or just a good friend. was i asked on a date? maybe.... he asked me to get coffee with him and gave me his number. i can never tell though. i don't want to read into things. he's made me some anonymous mix cds and left them in my work locker for me to find. he's funny and sweet and attractive. and he's clean and we think a lot alike and a couple years younger than my current which isn't much but hey it's better than nothing. but SO TRENDY. super trendyness intimidates me. how do i act! i'm just going to be dumb-me. i hope he likes dumb-me.
but i'm afraid to end the something i have, as topsy turvy as it may be, for the small chance of something else and the big chance of nothing.
that was actually more personal than i would of liked. oh well, fuck it.
i'm just sick of being alone. i don't want to be single again, even though i'm only kinda-taken so it feels like i'm single but not which may be worse.
basically im in the same boat as ALLLLLL of you. we want significant others badly. whoever said there's other fish in the sea was lying, all the fish are dead. belly up. in oil-spill water. i'm swimming alone.
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[Friday
February 1st, 2008
12:46am] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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so happy it's back.
best show on television.
for all you skeptics....
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO GET LOST. I CAN HELP YOU.
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| i know i know. this one looked so fun though! |
[Tuesday
December 4th, 2007
11:54pm] |
The rules:
1) Answer questions and type into google image search
2) Post pictures from first results page
1. Age at next birthday:
2. A place you'd like to travel:
3. Your favorite place:
4. Your favorite objects:
5. Your favorite food:
6. Your favorite animals:
7. Your favorite color:
8. Town where you were born: (this one had to be big...)
9. Town where you now live:
 BADASS!
10. Name of a current pet:
11. Name of a past pet:
12. Best friend's nickname:
13. Your screen name/nickname:
 ahahahaha what?
14. Your first name:
 i couldn't find any cool people with my name spelt the same way.
15. Your middle name:
16. Your last name:
17. Bad habit of yours:
18. First job:
 (this was really the first image on google!! (those are my bosses(neither one of them are gay, surprising i know. they're married to eachother.)))
19. Grandmother's name:
 gloria, in case you were wondering.
20. Your college major:
21. Favorite season:
22. Favorite holiday:
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[Monday
December 3rd, 2007
7:28pm] |
we are genius. i mean real, cold-blooded, hardcore genius.
kelly and i took scott to cut his hair.
we finally made him do it.
we sat and watched the ponytail come off.
and he looks SO HOT!!!!
you'll have to wait and see for yourselves : D
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[Thursday
November 15th, 2007
11:27pm] |
today was one of those days that creeps up behind you. you think it's going to suck because you're running on little sleep and a lot of frustration in life, but you find yourself noticing that you are pretty happy and that you have people to make the bad worth it. today was one of those days. first thing i said in math today was, "fuuuuck today's gonna suck assss.", but every class was more bearable than usual, and lunch walking into the quad with little sprinkles, a gray sky, and free hand sanitizer made me really smile to myself. Afterschool was good too. I was sicky a bit... but kelly helped me renew my inspiration as we creeped through peoples backyards, we got the trademark rooster booster, and we had fun with eric at photomark and (if i do say so myself) showed a certain someone who's boss.
i think so much bad is happening for me all the time, that i stop looking for the good. then one day you just wake up and see that the good is longer lasting than the bad.
also, i am happy to say that 99.9 is finally all christmas music. this is business, this is my time. 99.9 all the time. and season's greetings on coxcable while i'm reading. it drives my mother crazy. i was cleaning my room and singing along to santa baby and my mom came in wailing about how it's only november and am i trying to make her go crazy. i just smiled and said "merry christmas mom." because that is what the pre-thanksgiving christmas spirit is all about.
you can imagine how she liked that response.
(p.s. is it just me or are the people really pulling out all the stops for tv this week because every show i've watched has been one of the best episodes all season! those strike writers sure no how to go out with a BANG!)
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